So here I am again, my poor neglected blog.
And also - I'm fat and unfit again. I said that I wouldn't eat crap food whilst pregnant - I did eat crap food. I said that I would keep up my exercise - I didn't. I didn't want to gain lots of weight again - I have.
So I weighed myself this morning, back up to 91.7kg.
My new "resolution" for this year is to get back down to around 65kg. With healthy eating and exercise. I'm not going to bore facebook friends with blog links or anything, and I'm not going to post pics of my food like I used to because really - who the fuck cares about that shit. Who cares about updated progress pics really?
So its my promise to not post any crap like that on my facebook, and I'll just do it here because nobody really knows about this blog - so it is just for me. I don't need to post it everywhere to keep myself accountable because my friends know what I'm trying to do, because really if I want it done, I have to do it myself and keep myself accountable and not lean on other people to guilt me into doing it.
So this morning we woke up and I didn't even have a coffee first up because Felix needed a bottle. So after that, we all got dressed and went for a family walk. The 7 of us. We did about 3.5km which wasn't too bad with the kids. We saw some ducks on the pond near our place, and we should have been carrying some bread for the hungry little buggers but we didn't have any. Maybe next time.
Then I had a healthy breakfast (oats soaked in yoghurt and blueberries overnight and currants added this morning), morning tea (two ryvitas with light cream cheese, an egg, and some carrot sticks), exercised on the cross trainer which totally fucked me (I am so bloody unfit) and then scoffed down two wraps with ham, lettuce, grated carrot and tomato in them. Skipped afternoon tea, had kangaroo sausages for dinner and some vegies.
Looking forward to my yoghurt for dessert - was supposed to be orange and mango sorbet but I didn't get around to making any. My sister was around today so I spent the time talking to her instead.
So that's part of my resolutions for the new year - be healthy, spend less time on facebook, post less shit on facebook that nobody gives a fuck about anyway, read more books and play with the kids more. Yell less, spend less time on my phone. Walk whenever I can. Get out of the house more and actually socialise with people instead of being social on the internet. Eat good food, play often, laugh more.
That's about it! I have no doubt I can do this, crap food tastes nice going in, but it keeps giving me belly aches so I have to stop doing it to myself - have to learn how to love myself enough to not need that crap food to make me feel better.
Wednesday, 1 January 2014
Monday, 30 September 2013
Why I still believe in home birth - even though I didn't have one
10 days ago I was in hospital recovering from an emergency c-section with my newborn by my side.
My home birth didn't turn out quite the way I planned, but I wanted to write a post about how I'm still 100% supportive of home births.
My home birth was amazing - for the first few hours at least. I had some niggles in the early evening that I thought could turn into labour, and my beautiful midwives came down early in preparation of a speedy birth. Contractions started around midnight, and I laboured with my husband and my midwives by my side. Totally supportive and always focused on giving me their full attention to help bring our baby into the world.
However 4 hours in - we came to a mutual decision that things weren't quite right. The baby had moved down and I felt my cervix open wide and began pushing, but nothing was happening. His head wasn't quite in the right spot and no amount of body shaking, thigh slapping or different pushing positions was moving him.
His heart rate was perfect - all the way through.
It got to the stage where I felt the contractions change - the pain felt different, sharper. Like a searing pain. My pushing urge left. The baby moved back up, under my ribs again. My midwives listened to me when I said something wasn't right. They agreed that there was something happening, even though there were no physical signs of anything amiss - it was just our gut feelings we decided on transferring.
When I got to the hospital after initial examination - again, perfect heart rate on the ctg monitors at the hospital - I don't think the registrar quite knew why we had come in - or the midwife on duty. Until I haemorrhaged.
Action stations! Whisked off for an emergency csection (which I had been asking them for since I got in there and to have it performed under a general - they wanted me to have a spinal and I refused) and found out later I had a hole in my uterus and placental abruption. 2 very rare complications that could happen in any birth - and both happened to me.
It has been said that how lucky I am to have been in the hospital - perhaps I should have been in there from the first contraction instead of being at home. Respectfully to all those people - the medical complications would have happened the same. Regardless of where I laboured, it was going to happen. I truly believe that had I been in the hospital with midwives that did not know me as much as my independent midwives know me - they wouldn't have believed me. Why would they? All monitoring said my labour was going along just fine - baby was not under any stress or showing signs of being in trouble. My contractions were still strong and intense.
I am of the firm belief that this birth proves that home birth is safe. In the movie "The Face of Birth", there is a midwife being interviewed about the safety of home birth and what happens if something goes wrong. She discussed the ripple effect - you know your birthing woman so well that you notice the slightest ripple of change in the water, before it turns into something more serious.
And that's exactly what happened here. My midwives acted at the ripple in the water and didn't wait for the wave.
I will always give my full support to people wanting the choice to have a home birth, and I believe that each birthing woman should birth with the people that they feel will give them the best possible outcome.
My home birth didn't turn out quite the way I planned, but I wanted to write a post about how I'm still 100% supportive of home births.
My home birth was amazing - for the first few hours at least. I had some niggles in the early evening that I thought could turn into labour, and my beautiful midwives came down early in preparation of a speedy birth. Contractions started around midnight, and I laboured with my husband and my midwives by my side. Totally supportive and always focused on giving me their full attention to help bring our baby into the world.
However 4 hours in - we came to a mutual decision that things weren't quite right. The baby had moved down and I felt my cervix open wide and began pushing, but nothing was happening. His head wasn't quite in the right spot and no amount of body shaking, thigh slapping or different pushing positions was moving him.
His heart rate was perfect - all the way through.
It got to the stage where I felt the contractions change - the pain felt different, sharper. Like a searing pain. My pushing urge left. The baby moved back up, under my ribs again. My midwives listened to me when I said something wasn't right. They agreed that there was something happening, even though there were no physical signs of anything amiss - it was just our gut feelings we decided on transferring.
When I got to the hospital after initial examination - again, perfect heart rate on the ctg monitors at the hospital - I don't think the registrar quite knew why we had come in - or the midwife on duty. Until I haemorrhaged.
Action stations! Whisked off for an emergency csection (which I had been asking them for since I got in there and to have it performed under a general - they wanted me to have a spinal and I refused) and found out later I had a hole in my uterus and placental abruption. 2 very rare complications that could happen in any birth - and both happened to me.
It has been said that how lucky I am to have been in the hospital - perhaps I should have been in there from the first contraction instead of being at home. Respectfully to all those people - the medical complications would have happened the same. Regardless of where I laboured, it was going to happen. I truly believe that had I been in the hospital with midwives that did not know me as much as my independent midwives know me - they wouldn't have believed me. Why would they? All monitoring said my labour was going along just fine - baby was not under any stress or showing signs of being in trouble. My contractions were still strong and intense.
I am of the firm belief that this birth proves that home birth is safe. In the movie "The Face of Birth", there is a midwife being interviewed about the safety of home birth and what happens if something goes wrong. She discussed the ripple effect - you know your birthing woman so well that you notice the slightest ripple of change in the water, before it turns into something more serious.
And that's exactly what happened here. My midwives acted at the ripple in the water and didn't wait for the wave.
I will always give my full support to people wanting the choice to have a home birth, and I believe that each birthing woman should birth with the people that they feel will give them the best possible outcome.
Wednesday, 7 August 2013
Why I believe in home births
A few people have raised the issue with me about my choice to have a home birth. So I thought I would have my say here and hopefully it won't turn into too much of a rant.
I believe home birth is safe. I believe, for me, home birth is a better option in my personal circumstances than birthing at my local hospital.
I think there are so many myths out there about the safety of home birthing, which isn't helped by the fear mongering shit the media puts out. I watched the Sunday program about home birth and I was disgusted - it was supposed to be about the police treating it like a crime scene when a baby dies during a home birth and instead it was an attack on home birth, a disgusting portrayal of how "unsafe" it is.
I hate the fact that they make it out that babies only die in a home birth - you never hear about the babies that die in the hospital. Statistically, a higher amount of babies die in hospital. And the interesting thing is - even if its a home birth patient that has been transferred to the hospital and the baby dies in hospital, it's still recorded as being a home birth statistic.
So I'll blab on a bit about why I like the idea of a home birth.
First up - your relationship with your midwife. This is a professional who gets to know you on an extremely personal level, before attending to you at your most vulnerable moment. This is someone who takes the time to get to know you, instead of being rushed through a checklist while a dozen more women wait to be seen that day. You see the same midwife. They meet your husband, have cups of tea together, play with your children. For 6 months you are in contact with the same person. They discuss your fears, your previous births, they know what you are capable of on the day because they know YOU. I've never had an appointment last for less than an hour, and I'm pretty sure that doesn't happen in hospital.
I also get the impression that people think home births are scary because of the midwife - home birth midwives have exactly the same training as hospital midwives with one exception - they are extremely skilled at reading their birthing mother because they don't have machines to tell them how mother and baby are doing.
They carry portable dopplers to check the baby during labour, much less intrusive than being on continuous monitoring and strapped to a bed. Did you know that being strapped to a bed and being in that position can compress the oxygen given to the baby and then the machine tells the midwife that the baby is in distress? Seems a bit funny to me that women are put in a position that could cause foetal distress to be monitored for foetal distress....
So I've covered why I'm not scared of anything happening to the baby during labour - Doppler takes care of any concern and I'm not put in a position to decrease oxygen levels.
Uterine Rupture - it's no secret that I've had 2 csections. Uterine rupture is a risk, however quite small. First time mothers being induced have the same exact risk of rupture as a woman attempting a vbac. And I don't know about you, but inducing first time mothers seems to happen quite a lot. And with a rupture comes a warning. Symptoms of it happening. We just don't spontaneously combust because we have a scar. There will be pain between contractions. There will be fresh blood on your cervix that the midwife can see. I've had 2 successful vba2c's and the only pain I felt was the contractions. I don't need a machine to tell me my own body and what I'm feeling, I'm more than capable and so is every other women yet it's almost like our power has been taken away. Trusting ourselves is non-existent because a doctor (who has probably never met us) thinks something could be going on. It shits me to no end that vbac is put out there as a high risk birth, yet they are still inducing mothers!
Next up - bleeding after birth. Midwives bring drugs to the home birth to stop bleeding, same ones given in the hospital funnily enough. They don't need a big red button on the wall to press in an emergency because its not needed. They know what to do, and they also know the number of the ambulance just in case.
What if the baby gets stuck? Independent midwives are also trained in this situation just like hospital midwives are. Lets not forget that midwives have been delivering babies for centuries and obstetricians are trained surgeons. I like obstetricians - this isn't a bashing against them - but they are trained in what can go wrong at a birth, not trained in normal, every day, low risk births.
What else is there? Independent midwives are extremely skilled at what they do, and to accuse them of being unprofessional or not good at what they do or to even accuse them of not caring about their clients and whether or not the baby dies - it's just disgusting. To accuse mothers of not loving their babies because they choose to have a home birth instead of being in hospital - is also disgusting.
Home birth is safe. With an experienced midwife who knows what she is doing it is just as "safe" as a hospital setting. Without any possible intervention (which may or may not be needed) it may be considered even safer than a hospital birth. My midwives aren't "cowboys" and are fairly conservative as independent midwives go. They don't do home births for breech babies, or twins. So they do have their own definition of what a "high risk" birth is to them. Some midwives do them at home. Some don't. So please don't put all independent midwives in the same box, because they just aren't all the same.
I trust my midwives, and I trust my body and I trust the process. So please, enough of the home birth bashing. Most of the stuff out there are just myths and are just not a true representation of how a home birth really is.
You may not agree that home birth is right for you, but please don't accuse me of not loving my baby because I choose this type of care. For me, this IS the best I can do for my baby - while also making sure I get the most respectful birth experience possible.
I believe home birth is safe. I believe, for me, home birth is a better option in my personal circumstances than birthing at my local hospital.
I think there are so many myths out there about the safety of home birthing, which isn't helped by the fear mongering shit the media puts out. I watched the Sunday program about home birth and I was disgusted - it was supposed to be about the police treating it like a crime scene when a baby dies during a home birth and instead it was an attack on home birth, a disgusting portrayal of how "unsafe" it is.
I hate the fact that they make it out that babies only die in a home birth - you never hear about the babies that die in the hospital. Statistically, a higher amount of babies die in hospital. And the interesting thing is - even if its a home birth patient that has been transferred to the hospital and the baby dies in hospital, it's still recorded as being a home birth statistic.
So I'll blab on a bit about why I like the idea of a home birth.
First up - your relationship with your midwife. This is a professional who gets to know you on an extremely personal level, before attending to you at your most vulnerable moment. This is someone who takes the time to get to know you, instead of being rushed through a checklist while a dozen more women wait to be seen that day. You see the same midwife. They meet your husband, have cups of tea together, play with your children. For 6 months you are in contact with the same person. They discuss your fears, your previous births, they know what you are capable of on the day because they know YOU. I've never had an appointment last for less than an hour, and I'm pretty sure that doesn't happen in hospital.
I also get the impression that people think home births are scary because of the midwife - home birth midwives have exactly the same training as hospital midwives with one exception - they are extremely skilled at reading their birthing mother because they don't have machines to tell them how mother and baby are doing.
They carry portable dopplers to check the baby during labour, much less intrusive than being on continuous monitoring and strapped to a bed. Did you know that being strapped to a bed and being in that position can compress the oxygen given to the baby and then the machine tells the midwife that the baby is in distress? Seems a bit funny to me that women are put in a position that could cause foetal distress to be monitored for foetal distress....
So I've covered why I'm not scared of anything happening to the baby during labour - Doppler takes care of any concern and I'm not put in a position to decrease oxygen levels.
Uterine Rupture - it's no secret that I've had 2 csections. Uterine rupture is a risk, however quite small. First time mothers being induced have the same exact risk of rupture as a woman attempting a vbac. And I don't know about you, but inducing first time mothers seems to happen quite a lot. And with a rupture comes a warning. Symptoms of it happening. We just don't spontaneously combust because we have a scar. There will be pain between contractions. There will be fresh blood on your cervix that the midwife can see. I've had 2 successful vba2c's and the only pain I felt was the contractions. I don't need a machine to tell me my own body and what I'm feeling, I'm more than capable and so is every other women yet it's almost like our power has been taken away. Trusting ourselves is non-existent because a doctor (who has probably never met us) thinks something could be going on. It shits me to no end that vbac is put out there as a high risk birth, yet they are still inducing mothers!
Next up - bleeding after birth. Midwives bring drugs to the home birth to stop bleeding, same ones given in the hospital funnily enough. They don't need a big red button on the wall to press in an emergency because its not needed. They know what to do, and they also know the number of the ambulance just in case.
What if the baby gets stuck? Independent midwives are also trained in this situation just like hospital midwives are. Lets not forget that midwives have been delivering babies for centuries and obstetricians are trained surgeons. I like obstetricians - this isn't a bashing against them - but they are trained in what can go wrong at a birth, not trained in normal, every day, low risk births.
What else is there? Independent midwives are extremely skilled at what they do, and to accuse them of being unprofessional or not good at what they do or to even accuse them of not caring about their clients and whether or not the baby dies - it's just disgusting. To accuse mothers of not loving their babies because they choose to have a home birth instead of being in hospital - is also disgusting.
Home birth is safe. With an experienced midwife who knows what she is doing it is just as "safe" as a hospital setting. Without any possible intervention (which may or may not be needed) it may be considered even safer than a hospital birth. My midwives aren't "cowboys" and are fairly conservative as independent midwives go. They don't do home births for breech babies, or twins. So they do have their own definition of what a "high risk" birth is to them. Some midwives do them at home. Some don't. So please don't put all independent midwives in the same box, because they just aren't all the same.
I trust my midwives, and I trust my body and I trust the process. So please, enough of the home birth bashing. Most of the stuff out there are just myths and are just not a true representation of how a home birth really is.
You may not agree that home birth is right for you, but please don't accuse me of not loving my baby because I choose this type of care. For me, this IS the best I can do for my baby - while also making sure I get the most respectful birth experience possible.
Monday, 5 August 2013
Oh god not another one! *collective sigh*
That's what I'm expecting all my friends to be thinking. Oh god, not another bloody blog by Mel.
Well, of course I never force anyone to read my blogs, I don't think they are particularly interesting, just a place for me to jot down my thoughts, and to read back over sometimes - see if I'm growing as a person, as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter.
So I got sick of having several blogs and decided to start another one. For all that I am. One that I don't have to think about where I should write about a topic, I just write. My parenting, dieting, paleo and pregnancy journeys are all part of who I am, so I thought I would combine them all.
So with that being said - here we go!
Last Friday, Coo turned 5. In some ways I can't believe she's 5 already, but in other ways it almost feels she should be older. She has changed so much in the last few years, she used to be so aggressive and such a bully to her siblings and a bit crazy like - now she's only really crazy if she has maccas or too many preservatives, so she's really growing into a nice little kid. Has a bit of an attitude, but most of the time she doesn't exasperate me half as much as her younger sisters do!
I think she was happy with her presents - we follow the "something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read" gift philosophy here. So she got some Sylvanian families figures for her "want" (we got lucky and got a set for $30 on a website having a discount sale, instead of paying $90 for the same thing in the shops!), a new school bag, lunch box, drink bottle and some pencils and scrap book for her "need", a new outfit ("wear") and a set of books that came with a necklace, earrings (fake obviously) and a princess crown ("read"). I think she liked it!!
Elf Man and I took her to the movies the next day while my mum watched the other kids. With so many kids all wanting your attention, its nice to be able to give one of the kids some one on one attention - even if its just for a few hours.
So we went and saw Epic, which we didn't get to see the end of because she was going nuts from maccas the night before and climbing the seats in the cinema, so we left and then got some lunch at a cafe. Which she hardly ate and was busy climbing the seats there too - NO MORE MACCAS!!!!!
I think she had a good birthday though.
I also had a midwife appointment the same day as her birthday, and the baby isn't breech any more, however is sitting in an oblique position, which means his head is in my hip. I've been trying some different things to turn him, but must make a chiro appointment and see if that helps. Not going to be a very enjoyable home birth if he's trying to come out my hip!
My midwife also suggested switching my meals around because of my gall bladder attacks in the middle of the night - so for the last three nights I have had my normal lunch for dinner, and my dinners for lunch. So far, so good. The last couple of nights I have slept through and not been woken up at midnight with the shakes and the runs. Which is good, at this time (34 weeks) I really need my sleep.
So today I'm having chicken and vegies for my lunch and will have either a chicken soup or a sandwich for dinner, depends how I feel when I get there. The kids and Elf Man will have chicken and vegies for dinner obviously.
Well! I think that is enough crapping on for the first entry, so better go and make sure that the two little girls I have at home today aren't killing each other, or off eating Gumption or something...
Well, of course I never force anyone to read my blogs, I don't think they are particularly interesting, just a place for me to jot down my thoughts, and to read back over sometimes - see if I'm growing as a person, as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter.
So I got sick of having several blogs and decided to start another one. For all that I am. One that I don't have to think about where I should write about a topic, I just write. My parenting, dieting, paleo and pregnancy journeys are all part of who I am, so I thought I would combine them all.
So with that being said - here we go!
Last Friday, Coo turned 5. In some ways I can't believe she's 5 already, but in other ways it almost feels she should be older. She has changed so much in the last few years, she used to be so aggressive and such a bully to her siblings and a bit crazy like - now she's only really crazy if she has maccas or too many preservatives, so she's really growing into a nice little kid. Has a bit of an attitude, but most of the time she doesn't exasperate me half as much as her younger sisters do!
I think she was happy with her presents - we follow the "something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read" gift philosophy here. So she got some Sylvanian families figures for her "want" (we got lucky and got a set for $30 on a website having a discount sale, instead of paying $90 for the same thing in the shops!), a new school bag, lunch box, drink bottle and some pencils and scrap book for her "need", a new outfit ("wear") and a set of books that came with a necklace, earrings (fake obviously) and a princess crown ("read"). I think she liked it!!
Elf Man and I took her to the movies the next day while my mum watched the other kids. With so many kids all wanting your attention, its nice to be able to give one of the kids some one on one attention - even if its just for a few hours.
So we went and saw Epic, which we didn't get to see the end of because she was going nuts from maccas the night before and climbing the seats in the cinema, so we left and then got some lunch at a cafe. Which she hardly ate and was busy climbing the seats there too - NO MORE MACCAS!!!!!
I think she had a good birthday though.
I also had a midwife appointment the same day as her birthday, and the baby isn't breech any more, however is sitting in an oblique position, which means his head is in my hip. I've been trying some different things to turn him, but must make a chiro appointment and see if that helps. Not going to be a very enjoyable home birth if he's trying to come out my hip!
My midwife also suggested switching my meals around because of my gall bladder attacks in the middle of the night - so for the last three nights I have had my normal lunch for dinner, and my dinners for lunch. So far, so good. The last couple of nights I have slept through and not been woken up at midnight with the shakes and the runs. Which is good, at this time (34 weeks) I really need my sleep.
So today I'm having chicken and vegies for my lunch and will have either a chicken soup or a sandwich for dinner, depends how I feel when I get there. The kids and Elf Man will have chicken and vegies for dinner obviously.
Well! I think that is enough crapping on for the first entry, so better go and make sure that the two little girls I have at home today aren't killing each other, or off eating Gumption or something...
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